She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
