her vagine was all disorganized.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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