So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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