sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
