this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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