I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
