grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
