I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
