Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
