Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
