You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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