but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
