Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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