We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
