Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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