I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
