Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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