Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
