I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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