dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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