Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
