Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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