If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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