oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
