if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
