You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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