there was a trapeze. enough said
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
