I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
