I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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