nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
