I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
