we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
