Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
