OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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