you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
