is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
