Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
