Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
