drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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