Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do herpes really smell.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
