took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I AM VODKA MAN
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
