Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
