I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
