Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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