so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
