Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
