put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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