Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
