i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
