We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
