so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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