I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
